Surf Bro
or Ho?
Catch waves. Not feelings. But definitely catch something.
Issue No. 01 · October 2026
The magazine nobody asked for.
Your browser history says otherwise.
UNSOLICITED SINCE 2026
SHADY ✦ JUDGMENTAL ✦ MEDICALLY ADJACENT ✦ EXTRA ✦ UNSOLICITED ✦ SHADY ✦ JUDGMENTAL
Inside issue no. 01
READ. GASP.
DENY EVERYTHING.
Surf Bro
When Your Airbnb Becomes a Brothel
Five-star reviews. One-star morals.
PT-141:
The Horny Peptide?
What if the switch is on but the light bulb doesn’t work?
The Chub Sandwich
The guilty pleasure nobody wants tagged on Instagram.
A Musk Have
When “fresh out of the shower” is actually a turnoff.
Trick or Treating for STIs
Check your candy before you eat it.
Every issue
OUR REGULAR
OFFENDERS.
THE GAY CENSUS
The numbers are in. Your group chat is now statistically significant.
ARE WE DATING THE SAME DOUCHEBAG?
Red flags, familiar faces, and the sinking realization that everyone knows him.
THE DOUCHE CLASSIFIED ADS
Personals, services, and suspicious opportunities from the back pages.
STALL WALL
For a good time, questionable advice, and messages best left anonymous.
Our completely serious manifesto
“We are all a little delusional. Some of us just have better cover art.”
DOUCHE is an independent digital satire magazine about gay culture, dating, sex, wellness, and the spectacular gap between who we are and what we put in our bios.
No saints. No sacred cows. No shirtless beach photo accepted without supporting surf footage.
Don’t miss the drop